Well, this is a new journey. This Zaadz seems pretty cool -- good ideas, good vibe. The last time I tried to make a blog I was an angry political ranter. I took myself waaaay too seriously. How embarrassing. Well, "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now" to quote Bob. I never really GOT that quote until recently. I mean I undestood the sentiment, but now I GET it. Gosh, there's a Dylan song for everything. Now  that I'm in the process of expelling unnecessary negativity from my life, I've given up political ranting and replaced it with a search for beauty, order and truth in this big old veil of a universe in which we exist.

Without the aid of drugs I've come to the conclusion put so succinctly by the late Bill Hicks:

Today a man... realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're an imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

The subject of Mr. Hicks' vignette was on acid. I'm neurotic enough on sudafed, so I'm glad that I could reach that conclusion without the help of psychotropic drugs. Not that there's anything wrong with them.

Today it will be partly cloudy with a chance of Maya.

What are YOU lookin' at!!!

IT. I don't know. The Milk of Human Kindness, Peace, Happiness, Excitement, Enthusiasm, Faith, Hope, Love. I don't know. I just know that I am FULL OF IT. I'm not sure what IT is, but then again, I think I'm exactly sure.

IT (words Peter Gabriel, Music Genesis)
When it's cold, it comes slow
it is warm, just watch it grow
- all around me it is here.
it is now.

Just a little bit of it can bring you up or down.
Like the supper it is cooking in your hometown.
it is chicken, it is eggs,
it is in between your legs.
it is walking on the moon,
leaving your cocoon.

it is the jigsaw. it is purple haze.
it never stays in one place, but it's not a passing phase
it is in the singles bar, in the distance of the face
it is in between the cages, it is always in a space
it is here. it is now.

Any rock can be made to roll
If you enough of it to pay the toll
it has no home in words or gold
Not even in your favourite hole
it is hope for the dope
it rides your horse without a hoof
it is shaken not stirred;
Cocktails on the roof.

When you eat right thru' it you see everything alive
it is inside the spirit, with enough grit to survive
If you think that it's pretentious, you've been taken for a ride.
Look across the mirror sonny, before you choose, decide
it is here. it is now
it is Real. it is Rael

'Cos it's only knock and knowall, but I like it
Yes it's only knock and knowall, but I like is
Yes it's only knock and knowall, but I like it like it...

I just love this painting.

(Strongest I've been in 29 years.)

Worrying. 

Bad habit I've got. But I'm kicking it.

And it's there, a little nagging voice. If I'm not mindful it permeates my blissfulness. The tyrant of my tranquility -- holds my peaceful moments hostage when I let it. And the habit is to let it.  

Until I realize that I don't have to. How liberating is that?

But even then it's hard. Hard to turn it off -- to give in to the love of the universe and trust that it is in my power to let her protect me.

29 years of programming is hard to undo. It's work. Good work. Happy work. Strength work. Like a workout for the mind.

Discpline. 

Its new trick is to wait until I'm blissfully content with the universe and my place in it. Then it whispers, "what about your health? What if a meteorite decides to descend upon you as you walk to class? What if you get struck by lightening? What if your herbal tea is tainted with the bubonic plague?" And I have to quiet it again.

Calmly.

Gently.

Caress it like the baby it is and tell it that it doesn't have to be that way anymore. We don't have to take that abuse anymore. Hold it in my arms like my little nephew and say, "we're loved. We love. And with the strength of our love we can stand up to that bully Fear."

It's like coddling an abused puppy and trying to make it understand that it's safe and cherished and loved. The puppy is skittish for a while...

...but eventually he comes around and curls up on your chest in the morning hours. You've tamed the beast.

And the universe is blissful again.

 

Moral of the story? Don't kill the lion. Don't force it's mouth shut. Tame the lion. Befriend the lion. Strength isn't always the shear work of will. Love and strength go hand and hand.

She's not fighting him. Look at the loving sense of peace on her face. As she closes his  

Ferocious mouth she gives him a good petting under the chin............ and you can almost see him purr.